Home and away in Madrid
Sussing out a European football weekend isn't always as easy as you would hope. You find the weekend you have free, then scour the fixture lists - and you can guarantee that's the one time when all the clubs at the top of your list choose to play away. Or, even more helpfully, they have their games shifted to TV on a Monday night when you've just caught the plane home.
So, when it came to planning a trip to Spain it was a pleasant surprise when the jackpot was hit.
Madrid. Now, for the first time ever (I think), the city has four teams in La Liga - Real, Atletico, Getafe and now Rayo Vallecano, back in the big time after a rather long absence.
And, on the one weekend available, three were at home. And the other team - was away - in a Madrid derby. So all four Madrid teams playing in Madrid in one weekend. Rarer the Haley's Comet. No brainer.
So it was all sorted. Planes booked, and tickets to the big one sorted - Real v Atletico at the Bernabeu. Well, you couldn't really hike to Madrid and chance missing the Madrid derby?
So it was time to hang on and wait for the Spanish footballing powers that be to decide the exact kick off times. Maybe one Saturday night, the next on Sunday afternoon and the final one Sunday evening. Surely, that has to be it, the Madrid police will put their foot down.
Of course, the power brokers are the telly. And they had a truly wonderful idea - let's have a Madrid triple bill, with all three games back to back. 6pm, 8pm, and 10pm on Saturday night.
And let's stick the Madrid derby - yep the one we'd shelled out not a small amount on for tickets - slap back in the middle.
Great. So three games in Madrid - and short of massive shuttle runs and missing loads of each games, it was just the one we were going to see live. Don't you just love the TV bosses?
Anyway, all was still set for a classic weekend so off Alex and I headed to Madrid on the Friday. First stop, after a quick shufty at the Royal Palace and the sights of central Madrid it was time for the longish walk down to Atletico Madrid's Vicente Calderon ground.

The scenic route close to Atletico. I took a picture because I thought it might be work starting on their new stadium. It's not, so its probably a supermarket.
And it is a walk down, just keep heading down the hill until you eventually see it peeking out from behind a residential block by the river.
And from the outside, it's all quite grand, and with a posh bar and museum and tour on offer that seemed like the perfect way of ticking off a Madrid museum and therefore sounding cultured when we got back.
The final tour of the day was, as were the others, in Spanish and English. so we were told. However, that was only half right as essentially the whole tour was conducted in Spanish and our guide would try his best in english if we asked a question. And beware if you stepped out of line in the tour, a strict 'no roaming' rule was in place.
Inside, the Vicente has seen better days. Think old Wembley in the open and you're not far wrong. Plastic seats that have been open to the elements for far too long. Crumbling stairways and concourses. Facilities from a bygone seventies era. Charming, but old.
Still, there's a reason - Atletico are on the move, to a spankingly revamped stadium across town with a capacity not far short of the Bernabeu. Big ambitions, methinks.
So a good first day, rounded off with a swift half or two in town.
Day two dawned bright and chilly. We joined virtually every other Madridista in the giant city centre park, and after a few more San Miguels it was time to pick up the tickets, and scuttle off to the Bernabeu.
Via, of course, the Irish Rover. The home of Real Madrid is in the business part of Madrid and not exactly overwhelming with nightlife so it's a good dose of luck that within 400 yards of the hallowed venue there's a first rate bar complete with a selection of TV sports on the big screens.
So we saw the start of Rayo Vallecano losing to Valencia, before heading into the stadium.
The Bernabeu is truly one of the world's finest. I first went seven years ago and it still has the power to be awesome.
Where the Nou Camp is vast, open and, frankly, a bit outdated now, the Bernabeu is enclosed, modern and classy. Four tiers - or it could even be five - rear up over the pitch in true coluseum style. Yep, you're a long way up but you feel part of it all. And it's always, but always, full to the rafters despite some eye watering prices.
All was going well as, with me bedecked in a Real shirt and scarf acquired on the previous visit to mingle with the locals, we headed to the top tier, by escalators (infinitely easier than trudging up the quadrants at the San Siro, I can tell you) and straight to our sector.
Ah. One slight problem. Our tickets were in the 400 or 500 - that's about 1/200th of the capacity - that were allocated for the visitors. so we're in the visitors end, on derby day.
Priceless. A ticket in the away end.
Despite checking and double checking we weren't in the wrong place and wandering in and out several times, it was time to go for it. I shoved the scarf in my pocket, zipped up the coat and we parked ourselves among the Atletico faithful as Nessun Dorma was belting out of the PA. Nice one Pav.
When you've buried yourself in a gigantic coat it was the one time you wouldn't want to be in the only stadium I've visited with heaters in the roof.

Stand up if you're 1-0 up. Well Atletico were at the time.
The view from the top of the stadium is awesome and breathtaking. The Madrid ultras at the far end unveiled one of the biggest murals I'd seen and the atmosphere was buzzing, if not the vicious passion I expected at a derby.
Come half time we shuffled near to the more neutral zone, just as well really as Real took hold in the second half and with the visitors eventually down to nine men the home side ran out 4-1 winners.
A cracking day, capped by the glorious statement overheard of an American dad leaving the stadium with his son: "Wow son, that's real European passion you've just seen there." I wouldn't take him to an Old Firm game just yet then..
Back to the Irish Rover to see Getafe stun Barcelona and win 1-0. And, more annoyingly, see the swathes of empty seats in Getafe's ground. Pesky TV schedulers…
Sunday came, and it was time to tick off the the third stadium of our Madrid tour, even if we weren't going to see a game there.
So it was to Atocha station and a shiny new suburban train to the satellite city of Getafe, ten miles away although to all intents part of Madrid's built up area. Which at least proves it would have been a major hike there the previous night - a bit like shuffling out of Wembley and getting to Crystal Palace in half an hour.
Now with Getafe I was expecting a real dose of Spanish life, real suburban, Spanish community. Those who have been to Getafe will know just how wrong that expectation is.
Getafe itself is pretty posh and gentrified, and when you get to Getafe Norte, the district containing their stadium, it's more new town than Milton Keynes. It even looks a bit like MK with English homes and roundabouts, although I don't recall too many gigantic fountains in MK. Don't they have a water shortage in Madrid?

A taste of Spain. Or perhaps not. Getafe Norte.
Getafe's ground, the Estadio Coliseum Alfonso Perez, is smallish but perfectly formed. Well, I think it is as the bits you can see when it's shut on a Sunday lunchtime are fairly limited. Through a few crafty peeks through the railings it does look quite impressive, a largely open affair with some truly stylish foreign floodlights to cap it off.
Getafe's crowds tend to be quite small, it's certainly an overachieving club in terms of the size of the area but with Middle Eastern money behind it now who knows what will happen next.
After that, it was back off to the centre of town for a final few drinks and a mix of English and Spanish football on the telly. We skipped the Brazilian football which seemed to be a big draw upstairs in the Irish Rover.
Madrid as a city doesn't always get the best of reviews for a rollocking weekend away but we certainly warmed to it. Find the right places and you'll have a good time, and the football offering is not to be sniffed at.
Check out the Madrid city section under the Tab cities.
